Wednesday, March 24, 2010

With the service for my grandpa ending today I was shocked at my reaction. I think it is a culmination of things going on in my life, but I was actually sad I couldn't be there after talking with everyone of my relatives I have not seen since my sister's wedding in 2001. They told me I was there in spirit and had great fun telling all the old stories. I think that is what I missed and the tribute that as done to my dad for being the one of his four siblings that stepped up and took care of my grandfather. It sounded like a good send off for a charming, funny and silly man that everyone loved.
When you move far away from family in some aspects you become far removed. Death is sad, it is the end of a generation and you have the memories left, but when you are so far away you sometimes don't have the heavy grief that the people who are there daily do.
I miss the man I knew as I child, but had not seen but once in seventeen years or more. They grieve the man they knew daily. My aunt told me today that my grandpa got to see every one of his five children within the five days before his death. Something he had not done in awhile, and he was completely lucid. I think it happened that way for a reason.


Medical Librarian said...

I think you're absolutely right about the grief and distance making a difference.

Same applied with my dad since I only vaguely remember actually living with him. He wasn't around all that much even before my parents' divorce.

Anyway, having him dead wasn't really all that different since he wasn't a part of my daily life by the time he actually did die. Much different for my oldest sister, who still lived in the same small town.