Friday, September 17, 2010

The weight update

I think I may have liked my weight loss blog better. I thought I would add an update.

Today after more than three years I met with Mr. Ralph Lauren and Mr. Tommy Hilfiger. They have been living in my closet for awhile with their high quality denim was just waiting to be transferred to a new location or re-fitted. Today I was not only able to get them on, but button and zip as well. The good thing was I still had the ability to breath, I was certain this was not going to be the case. I guess my progress is greater than I thought it was.
Here is where I give some credit out. Stress, it is a great diet, it allows you to over exercise, eat very little and drink a lot of water and tea and pace a lot.

Thank you Suzanne Somers! Do you remember in the early 90’s when she was Thigh mastering her way to great legs? Well, I was one of the many twenty year olds who had to have one, and I still have that exact one. Then she got all brilliant and came out with the Butt master. I found this on clearance at a GNC in the late 90’s for $3.00.
In my fits of stress and boredom I have been Butt mastering and Thigh mastering myself to death. I do it while I am on the computer, while I am sitting bed watching a movie (yes, it works in bed too). I think all this mastering has tightened or shaved inches off my inner thighs and butt. Thank you Miss. Somers.

Then there is the fact that I don’t over eat, have been eating fruits and veggies, and trying my dandiest to drink a lot more liquid. I think wine and Margarita’s count since they make you have to go to the bathroom as much as water.

My walks are longer and I am more motivated then before. Why? Because of the whole lump in breast scare. I promised I would take the very best care of my body if I came out of this entire scary health crap okay, step one was okay so I am holding up my end of the bargain. I am just that kind of girl.

I am greatly looking forward to the cooler weather where I can walk and walk and not be wringing wet when I get home.

I am not sure what my current weight is. When I get on the scale it says Lo. Since I like that I have not yet changed the battery.


I have to urge to rant-
Old people shouldn’t be driving; I am tired of getting cut off and almost hit on a daily basis, yep, daily. My 89 year old neighbor license was renewed because she passed the eye test, and they didn’t make her wear her glasses. I think there should be an age limit and a curfew for old people. Also, why to the think they can just bud in a line?

I use to have that whole respect thing for older people, it’s gone.

Dear Barnes and Noble,
Please stop stalking me and trying to get me to buy the NOOK every time I walk in and out of the door. So annoying!

Borders does not do this and they get more of my money than you…

Attention employers:

When placing an ad for employees with a college education, please specify that you more or less mean…someone who could maybe pass the GED. Also, look up college education before saying “I think your educational background makes you overed (yes that is what she said) qualified”. I am still certain she didn’t know what the word qualified meant or articulation. Also, dumbass employers-although people need jobs a good wage is not minimum wage and most overed qualified people will not work for that.


When I ask for a scanned file and the other person says okay, I assume I am going to get a scanned file. Not a phone call asking me if it is with one of those computer things. It is 2010.

Dear pen pal,

Stop saying you have sent me great packages and can’t figure out why I am not getting them. You know you have not sent them, I am not impressed and don’t really care. I am not certain why you keep saying this, but the USPS screw up rate is high, but not that high. It has now become insanely annoying and I am afraid you will have to go. You’re Fired!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Lump

I am a worrier, a worst case; it’s going to be death kind of girl. So, when I found the lump in my breast, I went from lump to grave, actually I am still in the grave. I have a mammogram and ultrasound on Friday. My doctor said he was not worried.

I would never wish the fear that is burning inside me on anyone. I am restless, scared, curious, anxious, and every cell of my body is riddled with fear. I have moments of clarity where I think it will be alright and to just be grateful I am in a place where I can get the proper testing done in a timely manner (three days after seeing my doctor). The waiting is the hard part, what will come next? Will it be bad? I am sure it will be and my mind will not allow me to go anywhere but to the dark scary place. The pit of my stomach burns, and everyone has a fricking story to tell about their cancer, like I really need to hear that shit right now.

What I do know for sure-

Whatever the outcome is I am changed forever. That may seem dramatic and it probably is, but it is so very true. I always thought as women we are part of the cause-be proactive, self exams, donating, walking for the cure, all of it. Why? Because having breasts makes you part of the cause. And then wondering if you have it-is so very scary.

I always talk about being healthy, respecting my body and so on. No more talk. If I don’t take care of me now what will happen? I really don’t want to find out. I am already making changes and promises that I know I will keep. How do I know? I am a fear driven kind of girl and I have enough fear to believe I can walk on water right now.

I admire people with a strong faith now more than ever. I wish I had the great belief that a prayer could be said and answered.

Two more days of acid burning worry. The unknown is so much scarier than what is right in front of you.