Don't over use the "Masters"

Unneeded update-




I had really high hopes for 2010; it did not live up to the expectation. I have found this to be a physically painful year. Some good things have happened but that is expected in any year. I recently have been very proud of the inches and pounds that were falling off, and still am. Then I did this.

I noticed about a week ago (before taking a tumble down the stairs) that my lower back and hips hurt really bad. I sucked it up and popped some Advil because that is what you do. Yesterday the pain became so unbearable that I could barely sit still (yes there is a point). I thought maybe I had a kidney infection or something from where the pain is located. I call my doctor and they tell me to come to the after hours clinic as they are also thinking kidney. What did it end up being? OCD. Nope, I am not kidding. I had been talking about my renewed love of the Buttmaster and Thighmaster; however, I may have neglected to mention that I do 350 of each every single day. Why? In my mind, if 50 are recommended, and work- then 100 will be better and so on. It finally escalated to 350 and on good days to 375. This is every single day. I still see no issue with it. However, it cause very deep muscle issues in my lower back on the muscle right on the outside of my spine. I have this mild mannered really calm doctor and when I told him what else I was doing he said “O shit”. I took that to mean it was not good. Blood work on kidneys -good, other blood work-good, back-in sorry shape. I didn’t do my Masters last night and my hips feel slightly better today. That could be the horrible pain pills and muscle relaxers working as well.

Lesson Learned? More than likely not. I think I will have to break them in to sessions because it is working so well. I also do this OCD with crunches and have never had a problem. I have learned that less can be more if you let it, I just don't know how to let it. I also learned I don't like the Vicodin and flexeril haze, either. I think I need balance and would never reccomend to a sane person to use the "Masters" as many times as I do.

With that said, it is time for my next dose of haziness.

All typos and bad grammar are currently due to the use of perscription meds. All other days it's my fault.




My over use of the Masters has caused me to be in a hazed on the greatest- coolest- cloudy day so far this fall. What a bummer.

Ramnlings

Ramblings~


It is now mid October and it still feels very much like mid July. I love fall and this is the second year I will be missing it. The leaves are confused, the pumpkin patch looks slightly sparse and nothing feels like fall. In order to enjoy the wonderful weather of fall I must go out and enjoy myself after 8:00 PM in the dark.

While my friends post pictures of the vibrant colors of the leaves changing and all the rain and frost they are getting, I am sitting on the couch playing with my new laptop with my central air set at 72.

In conjunction with the rant above: Since losing now 17 lbs and having clothes so loose they cause me top slip down the stairs, I am again annoyed that I can’t wear some really cute track type outfits that now fit really well. I could wear them if I wanted to die of heat stroke. Damn it!



I got a laptop for my 40th birthday. I just got this as it was customized to my current needs and I am finally wireless and not having to run up and down the stairs, woohoo. I love that this is mobile, but the keyboard and mouse are challenging. So, I have plugged in an old keyboard to allow for speedy typing while I get use to the feel of my favorite birthday present. My camera does come in second. I must say so far I am not a fan of Office 2007; I really do prefer 2003 because it seems so much easier to use.

In assisting with a Federal release criminal case I am again disturbed by our judicial system. As I have discussed with other friends and family, you will do more time for a drug charge, be it, pills, marijuana or cocaine, than you will for child molestation or rape. This is on a first time offense of any kind. Six years into a sentence (more than the 18-22 months most pedos do) a woman has to fight with all she has to get out and be with her possibly terminally ill son. How is that justice? How is it a sex offender can live in the same neighborhood as her son but she can’t even see him? This case has me very pissed off to say the least.

Since my last post and fired pen pal, I have gotten another email saying that she has once again sent me a box. Why? Since I have decided that it is best not to reply at all, if said box does land I will likely refuse it. I am certain it will never make an appearance. No loss. Some confusion.

I am going to give another shout out to The Buttmaster. I can’t help but wonder if I could have saved my booty the extra love had I been using it all these years. Again, wow! I decided to Google the Buttmaster and found others also love it and I have learned a couple new ways to use this love contraption. The downfall, I am pretty sore on a daily basis. It can also be purchased at www.suzannesomers.com I am a fan of anything that takes off inches, has quick results and I don’t have to leave my house. Warning…daily use of this will cause inches to fall off and your panties will no longer fit.

With really positive results from my eating, Buttmaster and other efforts, my lifestyle change feels permanent this time around. Something really feels different, I know I may have said that on my last blog, but it’s true. This time, when I have had a treat or felt like I fell from the wagon, I have counteracted and not gained anything back. My clothes that are now loose go out the door the same day I figure out they are too big. I am hoping to drop ten more pounds by the 21st of this month.

The Lump

I am a worrier, a worst case; it’s going to be death kind of girl. So, when I found the lump in my breast, I went from lump to grave, actually I am still in the grave. I have a mammogram and ultrasound on Friday. My doctor said he was not worried.


I would never wish the fear that is burning inside me on anyone. I am restless, scared, curious, anxious, and every cell of my body is riddled with fear. I have moments of clarity where I think it will be alright and to just be grateful I am in a place where I can get the proper testing done in a timely manner (three days after seeing my doctor). The waiting is the hard part, what will come next? Will it be bad? I am sure it will be and my mind will not allow me to go anywhere but to the dark scary place. The pit of my stomach burns, and everyone has a fricking story to tell about their cancer, like I really need to hear that shit right now.

What I do know for sure-

Whatever the outcome is I am changed forever. That may seem dramatic and it probably is, but it is so very true. I always thought as women we are part of the cause-be proactive, self exams, donating, walking for the cure, all of it. Why? Because having breasts makes you part of the cause. And then wondering if you have it-is so very scary.

I always talk about being healthy, respecting my body and so on. No more talk. If I don’t take care of me now what will happen? I really don’t want to find out. I am already making changes and promises that I know I will keep. How do I know? I am a fear driven kind of girl and I have enough fear to believe I can walk on water right now.

I admire people with a strong faith now more than ever. I wish I had the great belief that a prayer could be said and answered.



Two more days of acid burning worry. The unknown is so much scarier than what is right in front of you.

It's okay

Everyone wants to have a good group of friends, but what happens when you out grown them? I am the type of person that knows when something is no longer right for me, friends included. They say friends should stay with you though thick and thin, I don’t always think that is the case. I also think it is very normal to out grow a person. Your family life, interests, morals and values all change though stages of your life, so it is only natural that your friends would as well. Have you ever noticed there is that one person who makes you cringe when they call? Or brings out your negativity? I have two people in my life that do just that. When I see the caller ID, I ignore it, when I see an email, I delete it. Their energy makes me uncomfortable. I think when a friendship has reached this faze it is best to simply walk away.


I have a couple people in my life that disagree. Why would you want to remain friends with someone who doesn’t want to talk to you? Why would you hold on to a friend you have nothing in common with? People do this all the time, just because I won’t doesn’t make me a bad or flaky person, I am just purging what is negative and bad from my life, I think that is healthy.

With that said, I say if something isn’t working and it isn’t worth the work to fix it…don’t!

I am running in too many blank directions with my business venture. It is causing me issues, like I don’t have enough already.

My web guy said to me: Second guessing kills. Don’t do it. A sweet statement but he has never lived in the mind of a woman.

With so many setbacks I am hoping this is a full throttle week. I was invited to a huge networking meeting on the 22nd and would like to have gotten much further in my site by then.

I still don’t like that everyone prefers to do business electronically. I get sick of waiting for replies, waiting for changes, phone calls, text messages, all of it. People’s manners are just as bad electronically as they are in real life, so why not just do real life?

I am slowly collecting a small group of people to work with. Issues aside I like the web guy. My copywriter has a great personality, she is super prompt and does great follow up, and she kind of impresses me. It is great when you can find people that match your personality and so far I have been lucky enough to grab some smart and witty people. I am still looking for another sales person. So much so, that I tried to steal the guy in customer service for a magazine subscription I have. He would have been so good. To bad he was in Iowa.



The health front-

I had a kinesiology specialist come over and I have a great training program to use for a few weeks and then it will be changed again. I am also thinking of buying P90X. I have seen some insane results on people who use that.

Just over four months to go until the big day. Since I hope to be in Chicago at the Jazz fest with my people, I would like tank top arms and a tight rear. I am doing 300 lunges a week and slowly moving to 500. I am determined. Six days a week on weights, seven on the walking and three or four running. My knees were killing me and a doctor friend of my suggested fish oil 4 grams a day. It has been over a week and my left knee has stopped hurting. I hope it is the fish oil.

With this turning 40 deal I have started sunscreen my neck and chest area daily and moisturizing like crazy at night. I even found a wrinkle in my forehead that if not from sleeping may get Botox. I said I would never ever do that, but I think I may just be vain enough to get rid of that line. A girlfriend of mine said “Vanity will start creeping in after 40”. Wrong, it happens a few months before.

 For anyone that actually knows me in real life, you know I live in my own world. Things in the real world don’t always seem to work out like they play out in my head. For me, this is a problem. While I have been living in my business bubble things have been cheery, amazingly successful and the money has been wonderful. I have my Mercedes SUV, I travel monthly, and I am expanding business and starting a few new ones. Who would have thought most of this could be done in pajamas with bad hair? When I am sore and bored I get a massage and a Pedi and all is right with my world again, or, at least until I come back for my visit to your world.

In real life, however, things have not been going the way they are playing out in my head. This leads me to believe once again the book The Secret was a load of crap.

In the real world, where most of you live and I just choose to visit from time to time, this is what is really going on:
I have been greatly slacking on my duties after complaining about Mr. Web guy, who has been doing his job and mine all week long.
I have been dealing with “I feel like an idiot copywriter guy” who is still embarrassed over his drunken mouth.
I have failed to get a schedule going, writing done, more advertising in, and sales reps hired. I apparently have loads of time to sit and think about all the stuff I need to get done, making several To Do lists daily. I think I tossed forty out this week alone.

What am I doing about it? I am making more to do lists, that’s what. I have put out ads for other web copy writers, and the resumes and response has been insane and some of these people are down right…they leave me speechless. I had someone actually send me links to where their writing was, and it was public posting boards, yes, really! Bad spelling and grammar, I have enough problems with that myself, I don’t need to correct someone else’s that wants to be paid. A public posting. I finally got to putting in ads for sales reps, and have my fingers crossed that I get some bites. Which means I will have to turn my legal brain back on, and have all the contracts and IRS forms I need for an Independent contractor, as well as coming up with commissions percentages and incentives, fun fun.

I have hours and hours of work to do, but yet I sit and daydream about all I could have and not working to try and get it. Fear of failure strikes again. I tried to make Friday (Good Friday) productive and good, and got basically nothing done. There is always hope for Monday.



Today’s mood is daydreaming…still

I have new business bi-polar. My moods are going every which way. I feel great and positive that all will work out well; become creative with a host of new ideas, and then two hours later...I am ready to throw in the towel. People don't call back, they don't respond, they quit, they flake, it is one thing after another. Finding the positive in all of it is often hard.


Mr. Web is back to kind of doing what he has said, but he is a totally different person at night than during the day. I like consistency and am not getting it. I will look at this as he is helping me pour the foundation of my business and will see what happens when I get to the rest of the structure. I did learn no weekend contact with him will give me a better weekend.

My last web guy that flaked has done it to a couple others-I don't feel singled out anymore. I always preach organization, and my office is a pit. I do think that has something to do with my current mood swings. I need a bigger desk with more space.

On the plus side (sorta) all the stress from this new business has caused me to drop 12.5 pounds in the last week. Some say this isn’t good, but I am certain that it is stress and like the way my clothes fit this week.

How to conquer the business bi-polar should be an article on my site.

Questions

It is a questionable day. Why do people have such bad manners at all ages? Why do they need to talk on their cell phones in my car about strange crap I don't want to hear, in the stores, the doctors where they have a clear sign that say "PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE" and everywhere else? Why is it I think I am unapproachable, my family and friend's tell me I have an unapproachable look, but people I just meet spill their needy life stories to me all the time?


Why will spring not come? Why is it going to snow again today?

Why on earth did I let a business relationship cross that fine line? Lastly, what the hell is a matter with me lately?

My countdown to 40 is coming a bit faster than I am comfortable with. I have goals to meet and now feel like I am on a total panic deadline. I weighed myself today. Hmmm-how will I get to where I want to be by the end of August? I do have a trainer who will be coming twice a week, the coconut M & M's I found can be burned off in those sessions, right? Didn't think so.

My launch date has been moved, I have a To Do list a mile long, I have not been lifting weights, doing my great yoga, or eating protein in the morning. I am going to be a broke chubby schlep by the time I turn 40 if I don't go buy some willpower and motivation at Target today. A great excuse to Target not that I need one. With the milestone approaching at rapid speed I need to step up my game.

Has anyone else noticed that when you were a kid time took forever, and as an adult is goes almost to the speed of light? I hope gravity doesn’t come that fast.

March Launch?

The year is already starting to fly by. Now if spring would just catch up with it.


With today being March 1st, I feel the pressure of my site building. I am still completely floored at the extremely poor business manners I have been dealing with. How can you succeed in life in general with such poor manners, follow though, and so on? I am pretty sure it is not just me.
I think the positive that has come from all of this is I have been teaching myself how to build a website and other aspects that I may have waited to learn. In the end you can really only count on yourself in business, especially when it’s your business.
My next business rant is on Communication: People email me, want me to email back, schedule times to email, Text or just Facebook or Tweet them. Honestly, I don’t think I can ever get 100% use to that. I think when doing business deals there should be an actual conversations, real face to face or webcam meetings and then follow up emails. I met a Business Coach that runs most of her business though technology. If I am paying you a lot of money per hour or session (I’m not, just saying) I want to “talk” to you, not read from you, Facebook with you, and I don’t even know how to Tweet, the word alone disturbs me. Even as I say that I know it is a possibility that I will one day need a business Twitter account. Not happily, but I will do what I have to do to ride the successful business wave.

My Launch date for the site is mid March, providing I can figure out what the heck I’m doing. It has been a huge learning curve. I have owned my own business before, and was fairly successful, but I was too young to see what I had. I know what kind of people I don’t want working for me, and know that the lower the overhead the higher the profit. I didn’t know that last time.
I am a big reader, love books. I also love recommendations for books. I have been really reading a lot of business and marketing books lately, and anyone reading this who has read a good motivating business book, feel free to share.

A quote

Do you ever hear or read quotes and they just strike you?

I heard this the other day, and thought, wow!

We are the average of the five people we are around the most~ Jim Rohn
I started thinking about that now and years past, and it makes sense. Have you ever hung out with someone who is really negative, controlling and mean, and found you started acting that way? Or, someone that is really great and just motivates you to want to be a better person? We often stay in friendships because we have had them for a really long time and feel we need to be loyal, even when we know the friendship has died. Being with people that you don't really like and are in your five can alter who you are to some degree.

The woman who used this quote used it in a snobby way. She said when she heard this she realized her Friend's were not going anywhere or were never going to be wealthy, and she knew she needed to surround herself with wealthy people so she could be more like them. I thought that was shallow and snobby. I took it this quote differently, I guess. I took it to mean character and integrity. It was an impressive quote.
Here is a few others by the same man.

"Don't just read the easy stuff. You may be entertained by it, but you will never grow from it."

"Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better."

"The most important question to ask in a job is not what am I getting but what am I becoming."